Dear Sunday, I'm a bit all over the place...
...yet I'm exactly where I need to be.
This week has put my head in a bit of a spin, mostly in a good way, if that’s possible. As well as the usual ‘no two days are the same’ chaos of family life, it’s been a week of several conversations as I start to find my ‘new normal’ (remember that old chestnut from the Covid era?). Wanting to make an intentional shift from survive to thrive mode and with no area safe from a revamp (career, family, finances, friendship, health, home, kids, marriage…in chronological order only), chats with mentors old and new, spiritual, personal, medical and familial…?! advisors have brought so much light, insight and clarity on how I want to engage in all areas going forward.
Lots of thoughts swimming around in my head with no conclusive statement or bullet pointed action plan to move forward into the new week with yet. This would normally be enough to make me feel frantic, confused and overwhelmed because I needed a 12 week plan for all of this…like yesterday! Yet I feel quite zen and content. I’ve been brutally honest with myself about what’s working and what’s not and my part to play in that, I’m sitting with the uncomfortable feedback (direct and indirect) and I’ve said what needed to be said and allowed the awkward silence to linger bringing new confidence, support and comfort; particularly at work.
It definitly feels like I’m a bit all over the place at the moment and as if I’m starting from scratch as I rebuild intentionality, structure (the word structure really shouldn’t excite me as much as it does) and ambition. Feelings of frustration have morphed into excitement as I remember I’ve done this before; starting again, it’s my bread and butter! With the added bonus that this version of me is the best one to lay the foundations for the future iteration of the woman I want to be; one who protects her energy and emotional wellbeing. I’m enjoying the journey, absorbing wisdom, reading, learning, allowing myself the opportunity to try and fail at things now that my nervous system is behaving again. All this may be at a slower pace and even at a later phase than my younger self would have planned for but right now I believe I’m exactly where I need to be and I love it.
‘Don’t be afraid to start over again. this time you’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience.’ unknown author
In preparation for whenever my swimming thoughts start to order themselves into structured goals, systems and processes, I’ll be focusing on fixing up my discipline in a few areas to help me be the version of myself I enjoy the most:
Morning routine
Journaling - day and night
Values realignment
Meal planning
Deep dives on these in weeks to come hopefully.
Foodie Corner
Given the fact I’ll be a lot more disciplined with my meals in the coming weeks I had to get a few things I won’t be eating out of my system in advance.
One of our favourite meals over here is Oxtail Stew…with basmati rice, plantain, faux slaw and mac & cheese. It’s also the last meal I make using my beloved-warm hug AGA cooker before it has to be switched off for the summer aka stop haemorrhaging money via oil consumption. Stews just taste better from slow cooked with it. Honestly the kitchen is a different place when the AGA is off and I’m already looking forward to it being turned back on for winter because, despite not having any high pressure current goals at present (as previously mentioned) one of my forever highest pursuits is warmth.
With that here’s a recipe for you…
The Joy Edit - A few simple things bringing me joy this week
As part of my fun summer mum soft launch, I bought my kids a jungle gym play set and managed to attach the swing part to a massive tree in the garden. They love it so much and swing on it before and after school. It’s such a simple thing that’s brought more joy than I expected plus plenty of screen free outdoor play!
I really enjoyed the Mellody Hobsons episode of Aspire with Emma Grade, I always find Mellody Hobsons work place wisdom so simple and effective. Towards the end she talks about Intellectual Honesty and holding yourself accountable; ownership, no excuses, being open to feedback, etc. and it made me grateful for the people in my life who give it to me straight and challenge me because they know I want to be my best self.
This week, one of my mentors said ‘Don’t water dead flowers’ in response to something I was struggling with. The issue dried up just like the dead flowers and the struggle ceased, so I’m making it my new favourite quote.
Final Thought
Some food for thought if you’re frustrated about your progress or just need some encouragement to keep going
“Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow… even if that someone is yourself!” — Plato
“The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.” — Molière
E.x
Love the jungle gym set !